Having two children seems to have increased my mommy guilt exponentially. Some days, it feels like there's simply not enough of me to go around. Mostly, though, I just remember how Ella seemed to receive so much more constant attention when she was small. I, of course, recognize that this is just the reality of two. Both kids get plenty of love, affection, and attention, but mommy guilt is so unreasonable. When mommy guilt assails me, I am so grateful for wonderful family and friends, as well as my faith, that always help me put life into perspective.
I help to lead the Young Women's program at church (for 12 to 17 year-olds), which includes teaching Sunday lessons. This year, we've really been focusing on our divine nature and divine roles as women. While these lessons are valuable for the young women, they have meant so much to me. We've discussed finding joy today, the importance of our roles as homemakers (and how all family members contribute), and making decisions now that will bring future happiness. All of these topics feel so timely for me and have truly helped to keep perspective and enjoy today. I am so grateful for this!
Tim looked at me the other night after Ella did something especially adorable and he was was so tickled by her. We shared one of those, "Don't you just love being a parent?" moments. I then proceeded to write 3 pages in my journal describing all of the adorable things I love that my children do right now. It was incredible detailing all of the ways they delight me. My life is certainly not glamarous, but it is filled with such sweetness and light.
3 comments:
What a great post. Mom guilt is inevitable isn't it?
I wish I was better about writing things down more. I already find I can't always remember some things that I thought i would never forget. You're kids will really love reading it later in life. What a good Momma you are!
Mandy
You are such a cool mom and I am so proud you are my daughter. Kiss the little ones for me.
Love mom
I got to teach that lesson too, and I loved it. Well, I didn't love the lesson, but I used that new manual about additional resources and used an address by a previous General YW President that talked about how we need to teach our YW to value the role of a homemaker. I loved teaching the lesson. I was just subbing, but I think I could go for a teaching calling any day now. I love teaching. Anyway, it is a very HARD transition from one to two because you mourn that loss of the time you once had with the one, and you realize that the second one will never get that time. For me, that is when the guilt stepped in because you can only be one and you wish you were two!
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